As a mother and a teacher, I thought I was rather good at spotting signs of learning and behavioral challenges in children. But when it came to my second child, my daughter, her ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) went completely unnoticed for years.
How was I so blind?
The Subtle Signs of ADHD in Girls
My daughter was always so easy-going, especially when compared to my son, who lives with Autism. She didn’t have the meltdowns that he did at the same age and wasn't impulsive (so I thought). I assumed that since she was more “chilled” and not displaying the obvious behaviors like her brother, she was simply fine. Little did I know, ADHD symptoms in girls aged 6-10 years old can look quite different from what we typically see in boys.
They are often more subtle and easily overlooked—something I learned the hard way.
The Wake-Up Call
It wasn’t until my daughter turned 8, in Year 3, that I received a wake-up call. Some test results came home, and to my shock, she was in the lowest percentile possible. As a teacher, I was floored. How had I not noticed? How did I not see that something wasn’t quite right?
I immediately scheduled a meeting with her teacher. I was concerned—overly concerned. I knew my daughter was intelligent, and I kept telling myself,
“It’s just one test on one day; this doesn’t show her true ability. She was just having an off day.”
But when I met with her teacher, I was taken aback to hear that all her results were consistent—across the board, she was struggling. Even her teacher admitted that my daughter had “slipped under the radar.”
How ADHD in Girls Is Missed
The teacher explained that my daughter didn’t display disruptive behaviors. She was helpful, always volunteering to assist others, and was in tune with what was going on in every corner of the room. She would jump up to offer help whenever needed. On the surface, she was doing fine.
But the teacher’s comment made me think:
“Could it be that she’s struggling with focus? Could this be a sign of ADHD?”
This didn’t fit the typical picture of hyperactivity, but could it still be ADHD?
Recognizing ADHD Symptoms in My Daughter
I decided to pay closer attention to her behavior at home. That’s when I began to see the signs of ADHD more clearly:
I had to ask her multiple times (usually 5 or more) if she had brushed her teeth before she would do it.
She couldn’t sit and watch TV for more than 10-15 minutes without getting up to do something else.
She always left tasks incomplete—she would start cleaning up but never finish.
She was easily distracted and would quickly jump from one activity to another.
Time management was a major issue. Getting her out the door in the morning was a constant struggle. We were always running late.
Getting the Diagnosis
At the time, we were already seeing a child psychologist for my son, so I quickly asked for an ADHD assessment for my daughter. What came next genuinely surprised me
she was diagnosed with ADHD
I was gobsmacked. How had I missed it all these years?
Other Signs I Missed
Looking back, I can see so many other signs of ADHD in her that went unnoticed:
Interrupting others: She would often speak out of turn or blurt out answers without waiting for her turn.
Overtalking: She could be overly talkative, dominating conversations or jumping in with off-topic comments.
Impulsive decisions: She often made rash decisions without considering the consequences. This became particularly apparent with online shopping—impulse buying is not our friend.
Emotional outbursts: While she did have emotional outbursts, they went unnoticed because her brother’s outbursts were so much more intense. I mistook her reactions as “normal” in comparison.
Academic Struggles
Academically, my daughter struggled with reading, writing, and math. But these challenges weren’t due to a lack of intelligence. Rather, it was because she couldn’t maintain focus or stay organized. She had trouble focusing on tasks, remembering instructions, and staying on track. She procrastinated, leaving tasks until the last minute. Even now, she struggles to know where to start on a task. I must sit with her and break everything down into manageable chunks, so she doesn’t get overwhelmed.
ADHD in Girls vs. Boys
What amazed me was how different her ADHD looked compared to what I expected from my experience with boys. My daughter wasn’t overtly hyperactive; instead, she exhibited significant inattention and impulsivity. These symptoms can easily be mistaken for other issues, such as anxiety, depression, or mood disorders. In fact, my daughter had previously been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, and
I’m convinced that diagnosis was linked to her undiagnosed ADHD.
The Importance of Early Diagnosis for Girls with ADHD
I’ve learned that ADHD in girls is often underdiagnosed, and it can present very differently from how it shows up in boys. Girls tend to have less overt hyperactivity but may struggle significantly with inattention, impulsivity, and emotional regulation. This can lead to a delayed diagnosis and treatment, often resulting in academic and emotional difficulties.
The first step in helping girls with ADHD is making sure they get the right diagnosis. It’s vital to pay attention to the subtle signs, especially when a child’s behavior doesn’t fit the typical “hyperactive” mold. ADHD in girls can often be misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression, but the root cause could be undiagnosed ADHD.
Moving Forward
The journey is far from over for us, but now that we have the right diagnosis, we can begin to work on strategies and interventions to help my daughter thrive. We still have a long way to go, but at least we now understand what’s going on.
If you suspect your child may have ADHD, don’t wait. Early diagnosis and intervention are key to helping children with ADHD reach their full potential.
